How can I be around people, people that I love to death, and still feel so disconnected from them at times? The day will be going great, but then something happens that throws a monkey wrench in the whole day.

Do I just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time? Do I butt in, try too hard, and not take the subtle hints other give me to, uh, leave? Sometimes when I try to socialize, I succeed. Other times, I fail. Epically. And I get down about it, even though I shouldn't. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." But there are times when I don't feel like trying anymore; I don't feel like making the effort.

I wonder if I read into situations too much. In the grand scheme of things, does it matter why I don't fit in everywhere, why I tend to drift around without ever finding "my people"? Do I simply need to be more flexible? Do I try too hard, or do others not try hard enough to include me when they see me on the outside? And is it a good or bad thing that I'm not the norm? Sometimes, knowing that I'm different is wonderful. Other times, I feel like I'm cursed. I love to go off and do my own thing, but I also want to be a part of...something...with other people. While this isn't a constant battle, I have my days when I really struggle with it. It's hard to believe that these days will pass, that this social problem I have might eventually go away.


1 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.


God, get me to heaven - get me through this awkward time in my life - in one piece.